Of Sorcerers and Seducers
by RainMirror
Summary: Mr. Gold shamelessly eavesdrops on Isabelle French, Mary Margaret and Ruby as they discuss books and finds that he has a lot in common with the antagonists in their stories!


**Warning!**

**Isabelle and Mary Margaret discuss several books. **

**There are spoilers for **_**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows**_** and **_**50 Shades of Gray.**_

Of Sorcerers and Seducers

Rumpelstiltskin knew he should stay away. He knew that the Queen had her spies everywhere and that he had been warned not to approach her. However, those spies couldn't possibly know that he was aware Isabelle French would be arriving at the diner in approximately five minutes to meet up with Mary Margaret. A man had to eat, after all. He couldn't help it if he was already seated behind the booth claimed by the school teacher.

He had no intention of interacting with her, as much as that idea pained him. He just needed to hear her voice, know that she's okay.

A heavy wind slammed the door wide open as Isabelle rushed in. The cold Maine air had left a beautiful pink tinge on her pale, heart shaped face and her chestnut curls danced haphazardly on top of her head. She smiled in his direction (in Mary Margaret's direction, he corrected himself) and hung her old, worn wool coat on the stand. She was about twenty pounds lighter than she had been when she had left the Dark Castle, when he had kicked her out. The thought of her going hungry turned his stomach. He no longer felt like eating the soup he had ordered.

"Hi, Ruby," she called across the room to the scantily clad waitress wiping down the counter. "Can I get some tea, please? Lady Grey with a slice of lemon."

"Sure thing, Izzy."

She still took her tea the same way. It was such a minor thing but it sent a warmth throughout his chest and a smile unbidden to his lips. He surreptitiously watched her behind the dreadful excuse of a local newspaper as she carried a heavily loaded canvas bag to the table near his.

"You didn't finish them already, did you?"

A slight blush crept up her neck and into her cheeks. Oh, how he had missed the sight of that blush!

"I did," she said shyly. "I haven't had that much to do and they were so good! I couldn't put them down! Thank you so much for lending them to me. You're one of the few people in town who doesn't look at me like I'm about to go crazy and start shooting from the clock tower!"

"It was my pleasure," said Mary Margaret sincerely. "Besides, you're one of the few people who don't look at me like I'm an adulterous home-wrecker!"

"So I guess you don't want to borrow my copy of the _Scarlet Letter_, then?" Isabelle teased.

"Probably about as much as you want to read _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_!"

The two women laughed easily at their troubled situations. Neither of them had been judgmental in the old world, and it pleased him to know that they were still the same, deep down.

"So I brought you the _Twilight_ books. It's a very successful series and since you're already familiar with the classics I think it's best to catch you up on pop culture. Each book has a subtle theme based on classics like _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Wuthering Heights _so I think you'll enjoy them."

"You forgot the most important part!" added Ruby as she placed Belle's tea in front of her. "It's about vampires and werewolves! Why Bella wastes her time on Edward is beyond me. Jacob is so hot!"

"Don't ruin it for her, Ruby," chastised Mary Margaret.

"What's in the bag, Izzy?" asked Ruby. She was always good as sniffing out information, as well as other things. Ruby was his most valuable spy.

"The _Harry Potter_ books! I finished them all in a week. They were amazing, especially the last one!"

"Can you believe that ending?" squealed Mary Margaret. "I cry every time I read it! And I was so happy that Ron finally grew up and realized what a catch Hermione is."

_Projecting much_? thought Mr. Gold, hiding a smile behind his mug of coffee. The curse had certainly made Charming into a pale, bumbling idiot of himself. He has made quite the mess of things and poor Snow White had to pay the price. Regina probably giggles at the thought.

"They were very sweet but I think the real romance in the series is Severus Snape's! He's my favorite character."

"Snape?" said Ruby with a sneer. "Wasn't he the bad guy? He's such a jerk!"

"That's the thing," said Isabelle excitedly. She always lit up when she spoke of the stories she's read. He had always found it endearing. "For the entire series you think he's the villain. He certainly played the part well! Giving everyone a hard time, dabbling in dark magic, associating with other bad guys…but in the end you discover that he's really the hero!"

Gold's ears perked up and he leaned forward slightly, not wanting to miss a syllable.

"Hero?" scoffed Ruby, sitting down next to Mary Margaret. "He made everybody's lives miserable!"

"Yes," Isabelle conceded the point. "However, he had his reasons. He was a double spy. He had to do bad things to convince Voldemort that he was really on his side, while at the same time secretly helping Harry."

"I don't buy it. Where there's smoke, there's fire."

"But in one of the last chapters you find out that Snape was once in love," Isabelle said wistfully. "He drove her away, though, when he got involved in the Dark Arts and he has regretted the decision ever since. After Voldemort killed her, he dedicated his life to help bring him down. Harry was foretold to be the Chosen One so Snape did everything in his power to help him along. Harry just never knew it. Everything Snape did, he did it for the love of a woman who died decades ago. I think that's the most romantic thing I've heard! Don't you?"

Rumpelstiltskin raised his newspaper a little higher to hide the fact that he was trembling. His eyes began to sting and his throat constricted painfully. Was he really about to cry in the middle of the diner? His beautiful Belle was still there, inside the tortured body of Isabelle French. His heart beat quickly at the thought that she may be able to forgive him once this blasted curse was over. He made a mental note to double his efforts with their own Chosen One, Emma Swan.

"So you're saying," interrupted Mary Margaret, "that the ends justify the means?"

"I'm not saying he's perfect, just…misunderstood. I may not agree with his actions, but his intentions were honorable."

"Izzy French!" squealed Ruby. "You have a thing for bad boys! That's so hot! They're the best in bed, don't you think?"

"Shhhh!" groaned Isabelle. "People already think I'm nuts, I don't need them thinking I'm a harlot too! No offence Mary Margaret."

"Hey!" she replied, laughing. "I'm not the one reading _50 Shades of Gray_!"

"50 what? I don't know what that means."

"Oh my goodness!" yelped Ruby. "Are you really reading that? Even_ I_ find that too smutty!"

Mary Margaret took a paperback out of the bag and held it up for Isabelle to see. Mr. Gold quickly looked up and saw a silk tie on the cover.

"I certainly didn't lend you this!" said Mary Margaret reproachfully.

"Someone gave that to me on the way over. She said I would find it to be an 'enlightening, cautionary tale' for young women such as myself. I have no idea what it's about."

Ruby and Mary Margaret shared a knowing look and Gold would swear they were blushing.

"Who is this 'she' person?"

"Mayor Mills."

That got Gold's attention! If Regina was taking an interest in Belle's choice of reading material then it couldn't be good. He strained to hear what the book was about but Mary Margaret was practically whispering.

"Well, it's about this young woman, a sweet, innocent virgin no less, who meets a mysterious billionaire named Christian Gray."

"A _depraved_ billionaire, you mean!" added Ruby.

"Good point. You see, he had a…troubled…past. He's not very good at relationships. So he tries to convince this young, inexperienced girl to sign a contract, like a legal waiver, that would allow him to dominate her."

_Oh, I'm going to enjoy killing you, Regina. You are so dead!_

"I don't understand," said Isabelle. "You mean like he'd _own_ her, like a slave?"

"Sort of," whispered Ruby. "But really it's for sex! You see, he likes it kinky. He likes to hurt women during intercourse. You know, like whipping. He flays her while he lays her!"

While Ruby giggled at her little joke Rumpelstiltskin was gripping the table to stop him from shaking. Flaying? Whipping? The same things Regina told him the clerics had done to his innocent Belle!

He had managed to get a copy of her medical reports and her back was indeed covered in scars. According to Dr. Whale, though, she has no memory of how it really happened and believes she was in some sort of car accident. Thank the gods for that!

"Oh how awful! Does she go through with it?"

"She does at first but realizes he's too messed up," replies Mary Margaret, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. "He scares her pretty bad and she runs for the hills. I personally don't see the appeal but some women must or the book wouldn't be on the best sellers list."

"What's with the necktie on the cover?"

Ruby begins to giggle again. "He has an affinity for silk ties. He likes to tie her up in them."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to avoid depraved billionaires in silk ties then," laughed Isabelle.

Oh, yes. That was Regina's plan then. There were some similarities, creepy ones. But the only person he has ever wanted to tie up and flay was the Queen herself and there was nothing sexual about it!

"Oh my God! I just realized something!" said Ruby.

_Don't mention me! Don't mention me! Don't mention me!_

"You know who he reminds me of?"

_Oh crap!_

"Ruby?" hollered Gold a little too loudly. "Could you please fetch me some more coffee?"

Ruby's face flushed scarlet. "Ummm….right away Mr. Gold." She practically ran to the counter.

"I'm so sorry, Isabelle! I have to go!" said Mary Margaret, jumping up and wrapping her scarf around her neck. Perhaps her thoughts had strayed to him as well. "I promised the nuns I would help them organize the Minor's Day celebration coming up. Same time next week?"

"Sounds good. And thank you so much for the books, Mary Margaret. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"Anytime, sweetie. Gotta go!"

Mr. Gold drank the coffee he didn't really want and thought about everything he had learned during his lunch break. Isabelle's favorite character was this Snape fellow who bore remarkable similarities to himself. That gave him hope.

However, this depraved Gray character was also similar to his Storybrooke persona; wealthy, likes ties and contracts, has a color as a name...the thought of Isabelle subconsciously comparing him to this lecherous beast made him feel sick!

Regina was trying to undermine him even though he was following all of her ridiculous rules; do not approach her; do not contact her; stay away! Still, if she wasn't going to play fair then neither was he.

Isabelle got up from her table and began putting her new books into her canvas bag. He quickly rose and made an exaggerated effort of putting on his long coat. Any of Regina's spies who may be watching can think what they like. He no longer cared.

His timing was perfect, as always. Before she had a chance to heft her heavy bag over her shoulder, he _accidentally_ bumped into her, knocking his cane to the ground.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, dear," he apologized. "How clumsy of me!"

"That's alright." She smiled warmly at him. "No harm done."

"Would you mind?" he asked, pointed down to his cane. "My leg…"

"Of course!" As she bent over to retrieve his cane, he quickly dipped his hand into the bag.

Rumpelstiltskin prided himself on never having to steal. However, it didn't mean he didn't know how to when an opportunity presented itself.

"Thank you, dear." He said sincerely. "You have a pleasant day."

"You too," she replied shyly. She picked up her bag, collected her coat and headed out the door.

Rumpelstiltskin hurried across the street, eager to be alone in his shop. Once inside, he pulled out the distasteful copy of _50 Shades of Gray_, tore it apart and tossed it into the trash.

Now, he thought to himself, where can I get my hands on a copy of these _Harry Potter_ books?


End file.
